It’s 3:42 in the morning and I want to text you and pour out my soul and say “good god I miss you like a bullet hole” but the truth is I miss who you were and what we had and nether of those things is coming back and if I was to call you right now it wouldn’t change a thing because you’ve become a stranger to me and the person I love doesn’t exist anymore and the happiness we shared might as well have been a dream because
even though you have his smile and his laugh and the way he always runs his hands through his hair: it’s all completely wrong. somehow, the boy I love is gone.
And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep. If you need to cry I will not wipe your tears away because you are only human and sometimes tears are as close to laughter as you can get and that’s okay. If you get sleepy I will let you drool on my arm and I won’t laugh at you if you snore too loud. If you need to yell so hard that your voice cracks and your knees fail I will hold you up and yell with you. If you get so angry you punch your hands red I will ice your knuckles and tell you that wounds heal both inside and out, and just like the cold that is harsh and burning, I will always be the warmth to soothe you and make you feel better. I will love you.
People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
That awkward sexual tension between you and someone you’ve dated like hi how are you i’ve seen you naked and i’ve heard you moan my name you look great